Category Archives: Marriage Help

After the Affair: Shock!

The most common first response to the discovery of an affair is shock, often even after early suspicions have been on the emotional radar.  Once the discovery has been made, we begin to reflect on the past & present with a new fear of how far the deceptions & dishonesty have gone.  A sense of Continue Reading

When couples get stuck, Dr Johnson’s work has shown that couples end up in one of 3 basic conflictual patterns.  These patterns are common to some degree in all marriages but in stable marriages, partners recognize the misstep and adjust their participation in the relationship to be more available.  The three basic patterns that couples get stuck Continue Reading

Affairs reek havoc on relationships, and leave devastation in their wake that make the victim often complain of feeling like a fool.   It takes time but in order for the victim to recover adequately, they have to come to the place of accepting that “trust”, ulitimate trust that is necessary to be married is not Continue Reading


Many couples get stuck in a cycle of negativity & even harshness.  We are often protecting ourselves from the pain underneath those harsh & ugly feelings.  Getting back to who we were as a couple requires discussing the feelings behind anger & bitterness as a path to reconnecting and “feeling each other”.  My angry clients Continue Reading

Why see a marriage therapist?

There are many paths which lead couples to share there private stories with me. A few come before they tie the knot, hoping to gain the tools they need to have a long and fulfilling marriage. Some come because of infidelity or blended family issues. All come because they are hurting. Traditional counseling methods may Continue Reading