Many couples get stuck in a cycle of negativity & even harshness. We are often protecting ourselves from the pain underneath those harsh & ugly feelings. Getting back to who we were as a couple requires discussing the feelings behind anger & bitterness as a path to reconnecting and “feeling each other”. My angry clients often describe fear, a sense of failure, worthlessness that is a result of their struggles. That more human side of our emotions can begin to soften the dialogue & open the tightly locked doors if we can gradually reintroduce it to our experiences with each other.